Life Changes = Head Spinning

Well today is my last day at The Document Group and I honestly don’t think it has hit me until now that I most likely will not be coming back here. I gave up working here so that I can go on a vacation with the folks and sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice or not.

So many people are without jobs right now and I voluntarily left mine. What am I thinking?!? But again, this is a chance to start anew, something I think I desperately need. Honestly this vacation couldn’t come at a better time with all the drama that has surround me lately, but I’ll have to come back to eventually.

I will miss this place. I love the people I work with and I couldn’t ask for a better boss. I guess it’s time to step down and give someone else a chance of working, in the meantime…I’m getting ready for a trip of a lifetime!

Have I Missed Out?

People ask me a lot why I work so much. My answer…so I don’t have time to think about what I’ve missed out in life. When I’m constantly working I feel productive and useful, it’s when I actually have free time that I get down and depressed with life.

Well, it’s one of those slow, unproductive moments here at work and I have too much time to think. I’ve been thinking about just the little things that people have said to me in the past few weeks and I feel like I have missed out on some major happening in life. Here’s a few thing that were mentioned:

~ Just two days ago the lady in front of me (while in line at the store) said to the clerk that her boy better get married soon because once someone turns 28, their chances of getting married and having a family is slim to none.

~ A friend of mine said to me and a group of people that to have a kid over the age of 30 isn’t fair to the kid because older people just can’t handle the energy of children.

~ I’ve been told that I shouldn’t have any debt because I don’t have a family.

~ Someone mentioned to me that my jobs are pointless and that anyone can do them and that I should try to make an effort to do more.

Maybe that last statement is true…heck maybe all of them are. I’ve put effort in careers and school and they have landed me jobs that have been good for the time being, but LIFE happens. Unfortunately my life hasn’t been what I want it to be. I’ve had goals since I was 12 that I’ve been working on. A couple of those goals have been to be married and have children, but life hasn’t dealt me that hand. So have I missed out? According to the majority of people I know, I have. I’m only 32, how can my life be over and have no meaning? Honestly people, I’m not giving up on life just because I work. I work so I don’t give up on life.

Emotional Roller Coaster

My life lately has been filled with so many ups and downs, twists and turns, I’m literally making myself sick. After my last blog talking about how I’m making some decisions and changing my life, with into two days everything I decided on hit me like flaming bag of poop thrown at my face.

I thought I FINALLY had everything worked out: my vacations, my work situations, my decisions on school, etc. After booking my flights, cars and hotel rooms for my trip to Australia and New Zealand I had to give my boss two weeks notice that I was leaving to go on this trip for 4+ weeks. It was 48 hours later that I got notified that the trip has been cancelled because the job there was cancelled. The job is only for 2 weeks, but I planned on another two weeks vacation there. So needless to say I’m out money no matter if I don’t go or if I reschedule everything. Plus, I quit my job for this trip!

After a few days of mopping around I did find out the trip was rescheduled for the end of April. Yeah, I get to go on a trip. I still need to rebook everything because I honestly don’t want to spend the money on the exchanges yet. Unfortunately after speaking to a neighbor that’s from Queensland, she said well that’s usually when it floods there. ARGGH! Oh well…If I do end up finally going I’m going to enjoy it even if I’m walking waist high in water. But if I do stay as long as I planned, that means I have to cancel my trip to California to go to BotCon. So far my “Year of Travel” isn’t working out too well.

So I’ve been very nervous about what I’m going to do when my job ends in two weeks, I won’t have that income and I’d have way too much time off (I can’t sit around too long, I need work). Well, my boss goes to the same LDS ward (church) as my family and my mother and my boss’ wife got talking. Well, it wasn’t long that it got back to my boss and he told me I could stay as long as I needed to. I wouldn’t be surprised if he offered me my job back once I returned home, but that’s another decision I don’t want to think about.

I’m more confused on what to do with my pathetic life as ever. Hopefully once this first trip comes around and I actually get to go, I’ll get to relax and think things over. Sorry for the rambling, but my mind feels like it’s in the spin cycle.


Quirky Quote: Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. ~Arthur Somers Roche

Moving On - A Tough Road

My last post and this post have a lot in common. It’s the beginning of the Chinese New Year. Oddly this usual is when I make my resolutions for the new year. It gives me a few weeks to step into the changes that I need to make.

This year is going to be the year I take care of myself. It’s all about me in 2009! I know that sounds so selfish, but I need to work more on making myself happy and not putting myself last. I believe this is why I have been very unsocial lately. My depression taking a major toll on me and I just don’t have much time away from work so I just don’t care to be around many people these days. If you’re just read that, don’t be offended, it’s just I rather lay on the couch or my bed in the few hours I have then have to talk or face anyone, included the closest people in my life.

Late last week was the start of this new making of myself. I made the decision to cash in what I have in my Camaro fund and booked my trip to Australia and New Zealand. I’m so happy that I get this opportunity to do this. Almost 4 weeks away from any work and I get to be by the ocean every day, better yet…the Great Barrier Reef! I’ll start saving for the Camaro again later on this year.

Unfortunately this decision for this once in a lifetime trip came with the heart-breaking decision to leave one of my jobs. I knew I couldn’t take that much time off of work, so I put my notice in yesterday that I’ll only be with the company for 3 more weeks. Why does this break my heart to leave…because I love my co-workers and my boss is probably the most enjoyable boss to be around. He makes coming into work fun! I guess I’ll have to wait until after my trip to decide if I want to make my part-time job my full-time job or look for another job. Gotta start saving again for that Camaro!

So many twist and turns are starting to happen; I just hope it all just doesn’t come to smack me in the face!

Quirky Quote: Although every man believes that his decisions and resolutions involve the most multifarious factors, in reality they are mere oscillation between flight and longing. ~Herman Broch

Halloween Downer

So just to recap my Halloween, it was a major downer. I knew I was going to spend most of the day at work and I knew this year was going to be the 2nd year where I didn't get to dress up, so I was ready for that. What I wasn't ready for was having to hear that one of our employees here at The Document Group was going to be terminated. I loved having her around, especially with being the only two women in an office full of men. So J.J. if you're reading this, I wish you the best and hope to see you soon at the Post Office.

After working some overtime, I headed home as fast I as could to get ready for the Trick-or-Treaters. I honestly looked forward to this. I love seeing kids in the costumes and even adults with how creative they are with theirs. Well, there was a group of girls (I'd say 10 years old) who came running to the door and they were out of breath. I said "Wow! You must be in a hurry to get to as many houses as possible". They said "No, there's some boys in clown masks chasing us". Argghhh...why do people has to spoil a good time?!? So I found the boys (easily at least High School age), went out to talk to them and they took off. I hope they didn't go harassing any more people. Around 9:30pm I went to bed so I could get up at 3:30am to start off another work day. So to say, it wasn't the most enjoyable Halloween ever. Maybe next year I'll make up for it :-D

Life’s Debates

Lately it’s not the just the election that I’m confused about, but about what decisions I need to make for my own personal life. Working at least 74 hours in a week is taking a toll on me. I’m not young anymore to do this kind of exertion. I actually collapsed Sunday when I got home. I honestly don’t know how I made it home driving without hurting anyone, but it’s small miracles like that that make me thank God every day.

So my first debate is: which job do I choose to stay at? Do I stay at the one I enjoy that I don’t make as much money at and I love everyone I work with (The Document Group) or do I stay with the job that is mundane and boorish but pays better (USPS)? Plus, with the Post Office job, we’re coming into major overtime season, so I could work only one job and get the same paycheck as two jobs, but I hate being at that job more than I have to. This decision sucks…that’s all I can say.

Next debate is more about spending money on myself. I’m a hard worker and I think I deserve something for myself. I’ve been working to save up for the new Camaro. I was planning on ordering it May and possible have it delivered late June. But last week my dad got a call from a company in Australia, they want him to go there to train for 2 weeks. This has always been a dream of mine to go to Australia and swim the Great Barrier Reef. He’s invited me to join him and my mom, but those tickets are not cheap! Looked today and they were $3000 for a round-trip ticket alone, not including the other expenses I’d occur down there. Ouch! So, that’s my next debate: do I spend my saved money on this once in a lifetime trip, or keep it for my dream car? Argghh...this sucks also.









Ahhhh the joys of making decisions. I’m usually good at doing so, but for some reason these two have got me stuck.


Quirky Quote: A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one. ~Rita Mae Brown

Cars, Cubicles and Park Benches…I’ll crash anywhere

Well it’s Monday again, but in my world it’s always Monday. My part time job at the post office is picking up a lot of extra work. Out of the 10 encoding centers in the nation, two were closed this month and another was affected by hurricane Ike, hence we get to pick up the slack. Well for my “part time” job, I worked 34 hours this week. That would be bad if I hadn’t already put in 40+ at the full time job and of course taking care of my very needy “friends” (aka…the emotional vampires). Most people look forward to Fridays and Saturdays, but I just dread it. In the 48 hours I work 28 of them. This weekend was extra bad as my work messed up my schedule big time. On Friday I worked until midnight and I had to start work the next day at 5:00am and to top it off I had not one but two people call me after midnight while I was trying to sleep in my car. People…why in the hell would you call anyone after midnight anyway if it wasn’t an emergency?!?

Total exhaustion would have hit me a few days ago if it weren’t for Red Bulls, Rockstars and caffeine pills. I know that it’s my choice to work more than one job, but after the last doctor visit and the lovely bill that came with it, the choice has become more of a need. I highly doubt there is anyone out there looking more forward to Thanksgiving than me. It’ll be my first day off in three months. Yeah for holidays!


Quirky Quote: Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ~Fran Lebowitz

Court and Cats

Yesterday was a busy one. At work, I spent a good portion of my day in a court trial. A weird kind of trial, but a trial none the less. At my job, we had an ex-employee file for unemployment after only being here for 7 weeks. He wants to get employment from us, but he also found himself in a tight spot as he was collecting unemployment when he was working here and may have to pay it back depending on the judge’s decision. The odd trial was done all over the phone. When my boss and I started the phone call, we didn’t realize that it was an official trail, we thought it was going to be a conference call. The ex-employee had a lawyer, we were sworn in, and I was used as a witness. We were left surprised, defending ourselves in the trial. Overall I think it went well, but we’ll see once the judge makes his decisions.

But last night, my wonderful mom took me to see the musical Cats. Surprisingly, being the musical theater fan I am, I’ve never seen this show. Kids got to go to the show early and get their faces painted and the actor interacted very well with the audience, running up and down the aisle. The play didn’t have much of a plot, but the music, costumes and acrobatics we’re amazing! A fun show for everyone. I’m so glad I finally got to see it.

Playing with Paint (The Microsoft Kind)

So lately, it seems a bit slow at work and I try keep my mind occupied. Well, hours of surfing the net is getting old and reading a book is a bit too difficult since I’m usually on the phone, so I decided to try out some art. I used to be a good artist back in my glory days of High School, but I haven’t picked up a pen, pencil or any paints seriously for over 8 years.

First of all I needed something simple to draw, something linier. I love cars so I found one that I liked and felt I could draw; a Chrysler Crossfire. Microsoft Paint isn’t the easiest program to navigate, but it’s free and it's easy to erase mistakes. So this is what I’ve completed before I headed out to lunch today. I know it needs a lot of work but, I have to admit, I’m kinda proud of my product after a long interval of art abstinence :-D

The web picture I found

A quick two minute sketch, just to get the basic look

My product...not final, but a good start I think

Quirky Quote: Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up. ~Pablo Picasso

Full Time, Part Time and On-Call

If there is one thing I can say about myself, it is that I’m a hard worker. I hate being lazy, I like to get out and do something. Don’t get me wrong, I love when I have time off, but I think I enjoy it more than the average person, because I get one day off in probably three months. There are many people out there that know I work a few jobs, but most don’t know what I officially do, so here’s what I do. Try not to get too bored reading this

For my full time job I work for The Document Group. We’re a Xerox agency that sells Xerox named equipment and supplies. What I do is everything but the sales. When we get new agents in I help with the training, setting up the network, making proposals, advertising and marketing, research information…basically I’m the office “Go To Gal”. I gave up my job at eBay so that I could work here. As much as I miss eBay, I love working for the same boss as I did four years ago. It’s like stepping into a comfy pair of old shoes.

After working eight hours at The Document Group, I head off to the Post Office or what I like to call the concentration camp. I do encoding processes for 60 cities in the nation. Basically what happens is that every piece of mail gets sent through a computer and then it sends us a message on a computer screen what information is needed for that piece of mail. It doesn’t sound bad, but let me give you an image of the place. The work floor is the size of a football field, lined up end to end with computers and cubicles that are about 3 feet apart. Right in the middle of the floor is a raised platform which I call “The Godpod”. This is where 4 or 5 supervisors stand and watch over us to make sure we’re working. We can not talk while on the floor, we just key the mail. So if we are caught talking, or taking too long of a break they can call us up for an official discussion. Thank goodness for iPods and headphones! This is the only break of sanity we get on the work floor. I used to work here full time for almost three years and now I’m doing it part time. I work there 3-4 days a week Friday thru Sunday and any extra day I can get in. I’m so used to it, that I don’t even think about how miserable and mundane the work is, but I have some wonderful co-workers that I look forward to seeing and chatting with on our hourly breaks.

Then when I’m not working these jobs, I help my Dad out with his business. He’s a contractor for Komatsu Equipment and he travels around the globe doing Maintenance and Safety training on mining equipment. He travels so much he’s only home about 10 days a month, so when he’s home I’m his personal assistant, mostly booking travel for the next trips. Man, does he rack up those frequent flyer miles!

“Is all this working worth it?” People constantly ask me. Hopefully by this time next year it will be as I am working all this time to save up for the new 2009 Concept Camaro and maybe a long deserved vacation.

Quirky Quote: Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. ~Paula Poundstone

Little Bits of Oddness

Yesterday I had a few fun-odd things happened. First at work, one guy called in asking about his lease. I asked the standard questions, but come to find out he just singed his lease 2 days ago and was asking what he got into. Hum…I’m no expert when it comes to deals, but shouldn’t you read the contract before you sign it and ask questions before you sign it? Yeah…I thought that was common sense, but I could be wrong with some people.

Next, another customer called in about her bill. I advised he that that was a separate number and that they can pull up her number and give her the information that she needed. So I gave her the toll free number. Not more than 30 seconds later she called up and said that the number I gave her was a porn line. Well, she dialed 800 instead of 888 and she got a bit more than she bargained for. Need to say we had a good laugh.

But the oddest thing I saw was when I went out to Wal-Mart with a friend. Afterward we saw a Snowie Shack and decided to have a little treat. I turned and looked at my friend and noticed that she was blowing on her ice cold snow cone. I just looked at her oddly and she finally realized what she was doing. Needless to say I won’t let her live that one down.

Random Recommendation: Pick up a children’s joke book and share some laughs with your friends

Quirky Quote: Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~Victor Borge

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Today was one of those days that was jammed pack of emotions.

The Good:
I got to go see one Bobbie, a friend that I haven’t seen in…well, it’s been so long, I can’t honestly remember the last time we saw each other. I was able to see her beautiful baby boy for the first time. He looks just like his papa and he is sooooo cuddly. And I’m serious when I said I’d take Max and Daisy in the will (Max and Daisy are adorable doggies btw). May the government treat her well, and get that refund check to her in time, so that Bobbie and Jeremy can take that wonderful trip planned. I hope it’s not another couple of years before I see her again.

The Bad:
I had to be a part of the firing of an employee. These are never fun. It just makes the rest of the day awkward. I enjoyed being around this guy, we had a lot to talk about and had a lot of similarities. Unfortunately his work ethics were sub par. Yesterday he got caught going home, instead of working. It wouldn’t have been bad if it the first time, but…well, you probably get that it wasn’t. I wish him the best in life and hope that he finds a workplace that makes him happy.

The Ugly:
I got an email today saying this “Now that I’m married, I don’t need you in my life”. How am I supposed to take this?! This was a man that I have known for a few years now; someone that I took under my wing and took special care of. I was always there for his material needs such as groceries, a ride, I even paid a bill now and then and of course I was always there emotionally, always listening about his issues with life. I’m always good to be there for a friend in need, but when I saw this email, I feel used. I’ve been played!

Hopefully tomorrow will bring about a more somber day. A roller coaster of emotions like this can really exhaust a person!


Quirky Quote: "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed." ~ Benjamin Franklin
Randon Recommendation: Wendy's biscuts and gravy