Making a Difference…Maybe Not

Yesterday was almost like any other. ..working, except that I had to go to the store for some office supplies. I was happy to see that when I was leaving the store I ran into an old friend I haven’t seen in three years. He used to be in one of my old single wards from church. I went up to him with a smile and a happy greeting and he just looked at me like I was crazy. I explained to him who I was and he still didn’t remember me.

This saddens me to the point of almost crying on my lunch break. I had spent so much time with him in the past I thought he wouldn’t forget me. He is physically handicapped and confined to a wheelchair and he depended on me to pick him up and taking him to several places, such as work, church and even to go on some dates. I introduced him to several people, even one girl that he ended up dating for a few weeks. Here I was thinking that I helping him getting rid of his bad attitude that people ignore him because of wheelchair and was helping him to get around instead of relying on the bus system. I thought I was making a difference in his life and yesterday comes along and it was like a stab in the gut.

There are so many people that I help with, because it’s in my nature to do so and most of the time I do enjoy it, but I can’t help to think that I don’t mean much to them, that I’m not worth remembering. I’m not looking for praise or glory, I just want to be remembered as a good person, a friend and someone that people can depend on. But some days it feels like I’m the person that people will go to for help, because 90% of the time I’ll say yes. I’m more of a convenience than a friend type of thing. Maybe this is my wake-up call to forget about others, let them defend for themselves and just work on myself.