Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Making a Difference…Maybe Not

Yesterday was almost like any other. ..working, except that I had to go to the store for some office supplies. I was happy to see that when I was leaving the store I ran into an old friend I haven’t seen in three years. He used to be in one of my old single wards from church. I went up to him with a smile and a happy greeting and he just looked at me like I was crazy. I explained to him who I was and he still didn’t remember me.

This saddens me to the point of almost crying on my lunch break. I had spent so much time with him in the past I thought he wouldn’t forget me. He is physically handicapped and confined to a wheelchair and he depended on me to pick him up and taking him to several places, such as work, church and even to go on some dates. I introduced him to several people, even one girl that he ended up dating for a few weeks. Here I was thinking that I helping him getting rid of his bad attitude that people ignore him because of wheelchair and was helping him to get around instead of relying on the bus system. I thought I was making a difference in his life and yesterday comes along and it was like a stab in the gut.

There are so many people that I help with, because it’s in my nature to do so and most of the time I do enjoy it, but I can’t help to think that I don’t mean much to them, that I’m not worth remembering. I’m not looking for praise or glory, I just want to be remembered as a good person, a friend and someone that people can depend on. But some days it feels like I’m the person that people will go to for help, because 90% of the time I’ll say yes. I’m more of a convenience than a friend type of thing. Maybe this is my wake-up call to forget about others, let them defend for themselves and just work on myself.


The Whitney's said...

I won't ever forget you... promise ;)

Debra said...

You know, I have often thought many of those things myself and had those same sad, hurt feelings. But who we are and what we do shows our character. Yes, everyone wants to be liked, remembered, important, cared for, appreciated, etc. However, our reward for our good efforts is ours, regardless of how those acts are perceived and remembered.

I've always enjoyed interacting with you, and I love reading your blog. I find your stories touch my heart and I find that I can often relate. I also LOVE reading your movie reviews and even share them with my husband. I think you are talented and beautiful and one of a kind. :)

Pinky Lovejoy said...

I'm sure that was hard, but please don't let it change your good nature. You never know what was going on with him that day; perhaps he really did remember you, but was having an off day. I've only met you once and I haven't forgotten you. :) Don't let this one instance prevent others from seeing your sweet, special spirit.

orangemily said...

I am so sorry! I agree, definitely work on yourself. Sometimes it's ok to be selfish!