Friday, May 2, 2008

Singlehood ~ Blessing or Curse?

For some odd reason, people love to tell me what I need to do with my life and constantly give me advice when I don’t ask for any. The biggest issue is my “marriage status”. In the very recent past I have the following said to me:

You really should get on that…you know, marriage. You’re too old playing the single game”.

I thought you gave up on the idea of marriage. You are over 30 now”.

You’re just not marriage material anymore”.

Why are you thinking about starting a family at this point? You should have done that years ago”.

A smart adoption agency wouldn’t give a child to a single woman”.

And my personal favorite that I overheard about 3 years ago…

She’s over 25 and not married?! She must be gay”.

I don’t understand why my being single is offensive to others or why people think that 30 is the age of no return when it comes to starting a family of my own. Many people have started families at a more mature age. I am not worried about it, so why should anyone else. Yes, I thought at this point in my life I would be married and have at least one child, but apparently it wasn’t meant to be as of yet. The only thing that I ever figured out in my life was I wanted to be a Mom and though it may not show in my face, it cuts deep when people say such things as being too old or why do I bother thinking about having a family.

I know many people that were lucky enough to get married to the first person that they had a serious relationship with, but for me that would have been a disaster within just a few weeks, as with any other relationship I had since. A few years ago I had the opportunity of being engaged (very briefly). I was ready to make the commitment, but unfortunately he was not ready to commit to me. I look back and see what a blessing this was. I learned from this relationship, as with all the others, and know what to look for in the next companion.....hopefully. When it comes to setting up others, I do a great job (eight successful marriages started by me), but when it comes to myself…ah, yeah… I usually find the bottom of the barrel types. Hence another blessing of being single…I’m not stuck in a miserable relationship; I can walk out at any point.

I guess my biggest complaint above all is; most people that tell me that I need to get married are the ones that turn around and tell me how miserable they are in their own marriage. Most complain about their spouses and many of them wish that they would have waited a bit longer to start up their own families. The word “Confusing” comes to mind in a situation like this. Yes there are many downfalls being over 30 and single such as the above situations, but there are many blessings as well.

~ I have my own money and can spend it as I see fit. Yeah the bills can be tough with the single status, but in the end, my eBay addiction will only affect me.

~ I can get up and go where I want when I want.

~ My free time, is just that….Mine

~ I can work two or three jobs and not feeling the pressure of getting in “quality time”.

There are blessings and disappointments on both sides of the marriage status spectrum. Personally think one of the best quotes I heard was from a comedian on Comedy Central about being single and/or being married. I can’t remember his name, but this is what he said:

The biggest difference in being single and being married is the decision of whether you want to be lonely or annoyed”.

I want to add a new thing to my blogs. It’s just little tidbits about me, minor things on going on with my life and a random recommendation of something I enjoy or something I’ve discovered. Here is the first of many:

Latest iPod download: The album “Riot!” by Paramore
Spent on eBay the last 24 hours: $54.75
Random Recommendation: Almond M&M’s


Jahn said...

Just a couple of random observations:

I'm reminded of a guy who was repeatedly asked -- at every wedding -- "So, when's it your turn?" He ran into his chief tormentor at a funeral and asked "So, when's it your turn?" No more problems.

One thing worse than being single is a bad marriage.

All those supposed well-meaning types should simply mind their own business.

Maybe the reason people whose own marriages are less than ideal keep trying to get you married off is because misery loves company? :-)

BTW, you have my permission to try to set me up anytime. You've apparently got a good batting average. :-)

orangemily said...

Man, people say dumb things! I lie Jahn's idea, tell them to mind their own business.
If it gives any hope Rich's aunt married her husband at 35 (both of them single and never married) and now after almost 5 years they have 2 kids and are still very happy. They were meant for each other, it's so cute! For inquiring minds they met on an lds singles website.

Tiffy said...

You know... the average age for marriage outside of Utah is in over 30. I got married at the "old" age of 23.. and I recall people asking when I was getting married.. as if I was an old maid!! I simply told them.. next week! They usually didn't pry any further.