Wednesday, December 3, 2008

'Tis the Season – The Annual Meltdown

Most of you have notice that I haven't posted many blogs up, nor been out socializing, or have returned phone calls and this is all because of my Love/Hate relationship with this time of year.

It seems that once Thanksgiving is done and I start my drive back home from a wonderful time with our small family get together in Wyoming, the dark cloud of depression, over worked and just plain stress sinks in. I love the fact that this is the perfect time to give, give, give because that is something I truly enjoy! I love spending time and money on others, but then where does one stop… or should it?

Each time I pass by a Salvation Army bucket, I have to contribute; every time a charity calls up I donate; every homeless person I see I give them any spare change and cash I have on me; angel trees are the worse as I want to take all the names I see on there. I feel it’s because I’m a very fortunate person. Even though I may work many hours a week, I honestly don’t make much, but that doesn’t matter because I STILL have more than I need. Because of the wonderful blessing of being able to say that I have more than I need, I feel that I have to help and give to each and every person that comes my way. It literally hurts me to think that there is someone out there that is need of help and I may not be able to give that help to them. How do you choose who to help and how do you turn down others?!? This is my agonizing dilemma.

Then there is my birthday that’s thrown into the holiday season. Each year I try to forget that I’m another year old and basically haven’t done much with my life yet. Last year, I DID forget that it was my birthday until I got emails and text messages from everyone. Why don’t I enjoy my birthday? The main reason (and this is going to sound sappy)Christmas cards. Each year I get hundreds of Christmas cards (yes hundreds) and most of them are filled with newsletters of what wonderful things happened to them and their families through the year and each year I have no major news to share and no family photos to take. And this year, I don’t even have my dog to take a picture with.

Even though I can say that I have too much, I still want more from life. The Love/Hate battle is one that I’m afraid is a never ending one.

Quirky Quote: Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times. ~Kate L. Bosher

1 comment:

orangemily said...

I've been more stressed this holiday season than ever before. My good friend just told me I need to relax, lol!
I hope your birthday is wonderful this year! I wish we could make it to your party!