If you didn’t realize it yet, it’s Christmas time…again. I’m such a Scrooge this time of year because I don’t feel the Christmas spirit like everyone else and I haven’t for years. I remember having such wonderful and elaborate Christmases when I was younger and I couldn’t wait for it to come around again. Ever since I worked retail, I haven’t looked forward to it. Well after working retail for six years I quit so I could possibly enjoy the holidays season, then I started to work at the Post Office…another hellish place to work for the holidays.This year, I was going to make it a happy Christmas! I wasn’t going to let anything get me down and it was going great until this past weekend. When I got my work schedule earlier in the week I was delighted to see that I got Christmas day off. The first time in four years, I don’t have to work Christmas day! Yeah for me! While at work I told people how happy I was. Well one co-worker, one that many of us try to avoid, told me “That’s not fair! You should have to work Christmas because you don’t have children”. This may have been a simple statement to most, but it cut me to the core. First of all, thanks for reminding me that my dream of being a mom hasn’t come true and may never come true at that. Second, I still have a family; a family, that unlike many people I know, I WANT to spend time with.
Needless to say, I’ve spent the past few days in a major depression, caused from guilt of not working the holiday, while someone else could be spending time with their family and from the despair of not having a family of my own. I keep on thinking of myself as Ebenezer Scrooge, not caring about this time of year and having the great possibility of dying alone. Yeah it sounds like I’ve taken it a bit far, but when you work a 12 hour shift at a place where you can’t talk, the mind tends to wander. I’ll be so happy once the new year begins…at least that’s what I’m hoping for.
Quirky Quote: There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~Erma Bombeck
2 comments:
Oh my goodness, that comment would totally knock me on my tush, as well. I hate people like that! I hope she had to work. :)
I'm so sorry for your (our) holiday blues. I wish there was something I could do to help!
I can't believe people are so insensitive. I still enjoyed Christmas with my family before I had kids. I'm glad you have the day off and you shouldn't feel guilty!
I've been in a bit of a Christmas slump too though because all of my family is out of town and it's just not going to be the same without them.
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