A Rant or Two or Three or...

Man I've been one cranky woman these days and since I've been anti-social lately I'm letting it all out here. Beware, a lot of complaining is to come.

I guess I'm getting to that stage in my life where the more people I know and the more I know about others...I just don't care. I guess it's not that I don't care, it's because I'm getting worn out. The older I get the more "issues" I have to deal with. Which is fine if they were just my issues, but I'm a sucker for helping out anyone in need and I think some people a.k.a. "leeches" can smell that. I know a few people, who unlike myself, haven't worked for months...literally months. One person I know hasn't worked since 2007. How they have a nice apartment, new electronics, brand name clothes, etc I don't know. But maybe I do. It's because of people like me...the big hearted suckers wanting to be mankind's heroes. I know that many of these "leeches" are living of the government and churches and people like me. But how are they going to improve their life if everyone keeps coddling them? I say cut them off! And I have begun to do this myself. Why should these people live life to the fullest going on vacations, eating out every day, having a nice car and gas money to fill it...basically having all the time in the world to do what they want when I struggle with working 60-80 hours a week just to make ends meet?!?

Next complaint is about myself. I'm so irritated with myself and the jealousy that I have for others. I read peoples Twitters, Blogs and Vlogs and I can't help but think "Why not me? Why can't I have what they have"? I swear I just have bad luck when it comes to figuring out what to do with my own life. I've been to school three times and each time the degree has failed me due to the industry that it's been in. Yes, I love to learn but certain degrees can only get you so far. I'd love to go back to school again, but I'm afraid of failing once more. I feel like everytime I try to improve myself, something throws me back farther than when I started. I honestly think that my way of life was so much better right after the first round school. I had a career that I used my degree for, I had a good savings, enjoyed my time off, I even had a prospect of starting a family. These days I dread having any spare time to myself because it gives me too much time to think.

Next I hate to complain about this, but I'm going to anyway. I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS, Mormons) and even though I love my church and what it teaches, I'm so sick of having to stand up for it. I know what I believe but I'm sick of wasting my breath trying to defend it others who are not members. Most of the time I know I'm not going to change their minds so why should I sit there and debate with them. They see how I live, what I do and how I treat others, that's my part for my church...no more debates! I just think it's ironic that in these days people who have religion and follow the ways of religious leaders are looked at as the evil ones.

One more rant for the road...

Politicians and Actors - When did these two "industries" merge? I'm sick of how the media is portraying Barack and Michelle Obama as celebrities. Taking pictures of every step they make, show off their latest fashions, even telling the world what they had for breakfast that day. Leave them alone and let them do their jobs! I'd like to think that with the nation in the state that it is today, that the President has more on his mind then what designer tie he'll be wearing that day. As for the actors and actresses...yes it's great that you have an opinion, but so does the rest of the nation. Just because you're in the lime light most of the time, doesn't give you the right to make decisions for the rest of us. And if certain entertainers have played the part of a President or Vice President, that doesn't MAKE you a politician, it still makes you an actor.

Sorry about all the bitching and moaning lately, but sometimes I just have to get these thoughts out of my head and place them somewhere else. You're just the lucky victims that get to read it.

Emotional Vampires

In Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, there is a character, Dandelo, who unlike the traditional vampires that feed off of blood, feeds off emotions; capturing and torturing others with laughter, sorrow and fear. I’m coming to believe that these are in fact, not fictional characters.

There are a handful of people in my life, probably a couple reading this, that are slowly draining me of any feeling and leaving me exhausted. These individuals require so much attention and need, I cringe when I see them on my caller I.D., get a text or email from them or the worst thing…showing up unannounced at the door. I know I’ll be spending the next hour or two being drained from the complaining, “Woe is me, no one has it worse off than me” stories. There is something that every one of these people have in common and that is laziness and poor social skills. They all want others to do their work, give them money and pretty much have others live through their crap.

I know for a fact that this is mostly my fault. I have a thing for helping unfortunate people in need. I blame my mother for giving me such a tender heart for the downtrodden, because she has the same benevolent mind: because we have so much, we must learn to give to others. Unfortunately, I don’t have it in my mind or soul to say “NO”.

One of these “vampires” has even been recently assigned by the Bishop of my church. He told me that this woman doesn’t have any friends and since I’m a friendly person and I get along with most people, that I should comfort her and introduce her to others. Well, I know why she doesn’t have friends; she’s about the most annoying, non-reliant person who holds a grudge for years over the smallest thing. I’m talking about how unforgiving she can be over something that was said to her in the 2nd grade by a classmate (I wish I was kidding about this). Most people that I introduce to her tell me that they do not want to be around her again, because she is so draining and very unpleasant to be around, but for some reason I stick around because I feel that everyone deserves a friend, even if it means making myself miserable.

Another individual is a man in his 40’s that has a family, a good job but for some reason has the need to borrow money from me because of his "financial hardship". I find myself a huge sucker for him because he tells me stories about how his children are in need, even though he lies to get welfare and money from his church that pays for his rent, his car and his food. I’m a sap when it comes to kids. Even though I know he’s lying through his teeth, I always have that scraping at the back of my mind “What if the kids ARE suffering?”

These are just two of the people that are taking a major toll on me. I honestly don’t know what to do, because of my guilt factor in saying “No”. I know that my health is taking a toll because of these people, as well as my pocketbook, but even worse, I'm slowly turning into one of them by complaining about life.

I’m looking for any kind of advice to deal with people like this. Better yet, I’m looking for a doctor that will prescribe me a 3 month vacation.


Quirky Quote: As none can see the wind but in its effects on the trees, neither can we see the emotions but in their effects on the face and body. ~Nathaniel LeTonnerre