Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I Shouldn’t Be Fat…

I Shouldn’t Be Fat……but I am. It’s something I might as well get used to. For the past seven years I’ve been bouncing around from doctor to doctor onto specialists, health gurus, naturalists, fitness trainers and many other experts. Each one of them couldn’t figure out what has been wrong with me only to pass me off to another person to try to take care of me or accused me of cheating and lying. Needless to say the people who accuse me of cheating and lying never got any more money from me. Thousands and thousands of dollars later, I’m at the same place I was those many years ago – still fat and depressed just more in debt.

Seven years ago I was fit, healthy and loving life, but the something went wrong with my body. Within three months I had gained over 80 pounds. I was like watching a balloon slowly inflate. Then to top it off I gained another 20 pounds from depression. Yes, your math is correct. I gained 100+ pounds within a matter of a few weeks, less than 3 months to be exact…and people snark at me when I tell them I’m depressed.

Between all the doctors and specialists I was told the best way I could lose weight was to get gastric bypass surgery. I’m sorry, but I care for surgery if I honestly don’t need it and I know I can lose weight, I’ve done it before. Personally I don’t like doctor who sell surgery as a diet option either.

So the beginning of this year, I made a resolution that this would be the year of me, the year I look after myself. So the search for another expert started again. I found a clinic that sounds like it may be what I need. With several tests I’ve found out I have liver damage and a failed adrenal gland. What’s that mean? It means my body cannot process sugar as it’s supposed to. I’m processing more sugar than I’m even in-taking, hence why my body will not shed the weight. My new doctors say that it can be up to six to eight months of a strict diet that they put me on until I start to see my weight come off. Well, I’ve made it over five weeks now on a diet that basically is fruit, veggies and fish. No breads, pasta, pork, beef, grains, excess sodium…you know, all the yummy stuff. I’ve only lost four pounds since I began; most people would have dropped 20 – 30 pounds with this program but not me. It’s just so frustrating and I’ll admit it’s brought me to tears many times.

I know this is something I have to make it through. If I ever want to have children of my own (and I very much do) I have to pass this hurdle, because this is one of the reasons why I’ve been diagnosis with PCOS and other lovely womanly issues.

I’m hoping that I will be down to my weight on my driver’s license before the year end, before I have to renew it. Here’s to praying and much motivation to get me through this!


Weekes Family said...

Nicole, you are so beautiful inside and out that you shouldn't even worry about it! I understand the need/desire to want to get healthy and have children though. You will get there! Stay with it! You are an amazing, strong, independent woman and I know you will get through this! Prayers are headed your way! Hugs and Kisses, too!

Anonymous said...

Nicole, I will be praying for you! One thing to be thankful for is that you finally found out what is wrong. You will be a fun and wonderful mom so keep fighting! Your old friend, Tracee