All About Me, in 50 Days or More - Day 1

My friend Bobbie put this up on her blog and I'm loving getting to know her in this special way. I hope that many others will follow the trend along with me. Sometimes life gets crazy and we forget to stay in touch with all the wonderful people we know. So here's a great way to view your friends in a whole new light.

Wish me luck! I’ll do my best to post daily, here’s what you can look forward to:

Day 1: Introduce yourself
Day 2: A bulleted list of everything that happened in your day
Day 3: Your favorite movie
Day 4: A photo of you taken over 10 years ago
Day 5: A letter to your crush
Day 6: A list of what you ate today
Day 7: A YouTube video you find funny
Day 8: A photo of you taken recently
Day 9: List some of your favorite blogs
Day 10: A letter to a person who has caused you pain
Day 11: Share your favorite recipe(s)
Day 12: Self portrait
Day 13: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 14: A song from your childhood
Day 15: A letter to someone you wish you could meet
Day 16: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes
Day 17: A photo that makes you sad
Day 18: Set or share a goal
Day 19: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 20: A letter to someone that changed your life
Day 21: Your favorite television program
Day 22: A photo that makes you happy
Day 23: Share one of your favorite tunes
Day 24: Time to face morph
Day 25: Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 26: Favorite books
Day 27: A talent of yours
Day 28: Favorite places to shop
Day 29: Your favorite color
Day 30: The friendliest person you knew for only 1 day
Day 31: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 32: A photo you took
Day 33: What you’re craving right now
Day 34: Your favorite quote
Day 35: A letter to an ex
Day 36: Some hobbies of yours
Day 37: A song that you like to dance to
Day 38: A photo of your parents
Day 39: Zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality
Day 40: A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 41: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 42: A bad habit you have
Day 43: A picture of your favorite place in the world
Day 44: Something that fascinates you and why
Day 45: A letter to yourself a year ago
Day 46: Photos of personal things in your life (pets, family, house, etc)
Day 47: Birthday wish list
Day 48: A photo of you right now
Day 49: Hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 50: A letter to your reflection in the mirror


Day 1: Introduce yourself

I was born Nicole Dawn Hale on December 14, 1976 to two wonderful parents, Ron and Eve. Along with this package of parents was included an older sister, Tiffany, who some days didn't want a baby around. Over time my sister and I have grown to love and care for each other. Just last month she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Cassidy Lynn Marshall-Hale, making me an aunt for the first time and I couldn’t be happier for her and her partner Natalie!

I'm a very social person and have a love for meeting new people. Some know me from forums by either BeatlesDiva or Hailstorm. I have no problems talking to strangers, I actually find it quite inviting. Everyone has a story and I’m one to listen to it.I’m a person who hasn’t really stepped out of the stage of childhood when it comes to my interests. I still love cartoons, Lucky Charms, staying up at all hours of the night talking to friends, taking funny pictures with the camera and of course I still love to play dress up. I love any excuse to put on a costume and do funky hair and make-up.

I have a love of music! If you have known me for more than 30 minutes, you know I have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with The Beatles. I love the music from the 60's and 70's mostly but I love any genre. I even have to admit and I have recently put some Country on my iPod. I’m going to give it another shot. I studied music while in college and actually got a scholarship for it. I changed my degree around so many times I have classes in just about every area of study, but the first thing I studied was Opera. That’s right Opera! Then I came to realize there’s not much demand for Opera singers these days.

After attending college I went onto a trade school where I studied to be a travel agent. There is nothing I love move to do than to travel, so this was the best career for me. I loved being a travel agent, but 9-11 came along and changed everything.

I’ve done several jobs…SEVERAL, but I have stayed at my current job for nearly six years now working for the Postal Service. It’s a job that does drive me up the wall, but the pay is better than most and it’s a job I don’t have to worry about once I leave for home.

I’m a very open and honest person, most say (especially my mother) that I’m TOO open and honest. I’m sorry, but I just tell it like it is.

Well, there’s the start of getting to know me. Hope you enjoyed it and look for more to come along!

PREDATORS

Predators

Rated R

107 minutes

Nicole's Rating: C+

This is one movie I really wanted to see on the big screen and I wish I had. The scenery and cinematography was the best thing this movie had going for it and would have been fun to see at a larger scale. But of course you can never go wrong when filming in Hawaii.

Big actors came into play and most of them did a good job, but then most of the well known actors came in and played the type of roles they are known for. The biggest annoyance though was Adrian Brodey's voice. What was he trying to do? Trying to pull off a Christian Bale Batman type thingy?!? I personally like the minor characters; Oleg Taktarov as Nikolai and Louis Ozawa Changchien as Hanzo. My favorite fight scenes of the movie where performed by these two characters.

I wish they would have put more of the Predator vs. Predator storyline in and told us more of the difference of the two races and I did enjoy the new looks and new weapons of the creatures.

Overall the movie felt a bit rushed at the end and left me with a few questions, but overall it kept me entertained.

Happy Halloween!

As most of you know, I'm a HUGE fan of Halloween and this year is no exception. I took it to the extreme with the celebrating as I made every excuse to dress up in different costumes. But my creme-de-la-creme was Goldilocks after she ran into the three bears. It's an idea I've had for a couple of years and decided, this was the year to do it.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful and fun Halloween just as I did.

The Random Fandom - Episode 4: It's a Killer!

The latest of my podcasts are up and ready for listening. Slick and Nic have a great time chatting about movie monster of their childhood as well as bring you the news of entertainment. Hope you enjoy!

Cassidy Lynn Marshall-Hale

Cassidy Lynn Marshall-Hale
Born October 6, 2010
3:49 PM
3 lbs. and 13 oz.
16 inches long

I'm an aunt for the first time and I'm loving it. I've never seen or held Cassie yet, but I have so much love her. Even though this lil' girl is small she has a very strong spirt and will not give up on getting out of the NICU. All the nurses says she's very fissty, kinda like her mom Tiffany.

The Random Fandom - Episode 3

Our first official episode. I think we may get this down before episode 10.

Check us out at these locations:

Podomatic

The Nerdsphere

The Autobot City Forum

My friend and I thought we'd give podcasting a try. Here's to our pilot episode.

Check us out at these locations:

Podomatic

The Nerdsphere

The Autobot City Forum

Paul McCartney Concert Aftermath

Rejection after Rejection…My Mental Therapy Blog

* WARNING *
The following blog will be long and quite personal from me. I’m sorry if it sounds like a lot of bitching and moaning, but this is what I need right now. Any advice is welcomed, but please leave the harsh criticism out. I honestly can't handle that right now.

Many of you follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter and most of you know that lately I’ve been in a bitter mood, but most do not know why. The reason why is that if I start talking about stuff I’ll start crying and I don’t want to put that kind of emotion strain on others. I have some people in my life that I call my “Emotional Vampires”; these people are ones that take up so much time and effort because they need so much attention that it is emotionally draining to one’s soul. After dealing with such folks, you honestly don’t want to be around anyone else or even think of your own issues. Because I deal with so many of these vampires, I keep many of my feelings locked up because I do not want anyone else to have to deal with this exhausting process. But here and now on this blog, I’m taking the time to get it all out in the open.

Rejection #1 - My Job

Rejected by Employer for Career Status

This is the one thing I have no problem gripping about as most of you know. I just wish that more people knew how frustrating that place is. Some of you work there or have worked there and do know what hell it truly is. First all I’ve been there for over five years now and I’m still classified as a temporary employee. How so? Well every 6-9 months my work fires us then rehires us five days later. This is so they don’t have to give us T.E. (transitional employees) any benefits. There are people there who are considered Career employees. These people do the EXACT same job as me, but they don’t have to worry about any disciplinary actions or even working to get their stats up, because they’re home free, meaning it’s hard to get them fired. Oh these people that do the exact same job as me, get paid twice as much, have benefits and vacation. Yeah, that’s fair isn’t it?!? Good ol’ government work. Like I said before, the more I work for the government the less confidence I have in it. Plus, I’ve been having issues with my paycheck and I can’t get anyone to help me because I’m not a Career employee. H.R. is impossible to get to because they are literally blocked off from the rest of the building. Yet again, that does not make any sense to me?!? I’ve asked several people in the building how I can become a Career employee and each time not one person, not even the big wigs, can give me a straight answer.

Rejected because I can’t get a straight answer or help from work.

Rejection #2 -My Weight and My Health

Rejected by My Own Body

This is probably my biggest reason for my depression and has been for years now. About five years ago I was diagnosed with P.C.O.S. (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It seems this is becoming more and more a problem with women these days, but that doesn’t mean that doctors know anymore than they did a few years ago. I was diagnosed with this when I went to the doctor because I was gaining extreme weight in hardly any time. Truth be told, I gained 60 pounds in less than seven weeks. Then because of this I gained another 15-20 due to the depression over it. Yep, I gained nearly 80 pounds in less than three months time. Since that time, I’ve been to several weight loss clinics, tired just about every over the counter weight loss drug and diet plan, had a personal trainer and dietitians and many doctors who put me on clinical drugs. I’ve even tried the expensive HCG diet that many of my friends are finding successful. As of today, I’ve cut my caloric intake to 800 calories or less, and go to the gym at least an hour a day. My success rate in the past four years: a whole whopping 10 pounds and several thousands of dollars in debt.

Along with the weight gain with P.C.O.S. comes the lovely girly issues…*WARNING AGAIN* OB/GYN stuff is being mentioned. Oh good ol’ hormones! I wish many days I was a man so I would have to deal with such crap! I have had major girly issues since I was 13. You’d think after 20 years that at least one doctor could figure out how to fix me. Well, in April I finally got to go to an expert and it only took me 10 months to get in to see her, even she said she’s never seen a case like mine. Two months later, with many, many, many uncomfortable tests (not to mention the cost) they came to the conclusion that I’m all sorts of messed up. One physician even said “Huh, you have an interesting set up here”. Yeah, just what every woman wants to hear while on your back in stir-ups! Apparently I have extra parts to my system, hence why I’ve been so messed up since I was young. In the end my main doctor told I just have to have my body works things out for itself, while being on hormone therapy, get a hysterectomy or try several experimental surgeries.

This is the main thing that sends me crying to sleep each night. There has never been such horrible news given to me in my life than the words “You most likely will never be able to have children”. The only thing I have ever know about my life is that I wanted to have children and to know that I may never have that experience sends me into the biggest spiral of depression. The doctor has given me some options, but they are not guaranteed. Even though it’s not likely, I have taken up these options. There’s no way that I’m giving up the chance to have children! Hence, many surgeries are in my future.

Rejected for child bearing because I have messed up innards.

Rejection #3 - Insurance

Rejected by a Company I Pay A Lot of Money To

This goes kind of with the last category. Well, with my health issues many surgeries are in the planning and one of them is Gastric Bypass. This is not a surgery I ever thought I’d have, but with my extensive tests and three doctors opinions, each told me that the only way that I can or will ever lose the weight most likely through this surgery. This is because my body is holding onto hormones in my stomach that rarely get released. So my body is holding onto the fat and other hormones as if I was in starvation mode. To get my body to lose weight, the doctors have to cut that portion of my stomach out. That’s basically why I have to get Gastric Bypass. But, even with three doctors with drawn out letters, tests and recommendations, my insurance still is giving me the run around and told me it’ll be at least 12 weeks for the decision and even then I may get rejected for the surgery.

Guess I just have to get used to being a fat pig the rest of my life.

Rejected because it’s insurance. Insurance companies always screw you over!

Rejection #3 - Dating Relationships

Rejected by the Opposite Sex

No surprise here about this issue, hence the “single” status. There’s nothing as enjoyable as being a 30+ year old single woman living in Utah (hope you picked up on that sarcasm there). I did give up on dating for a few years, because of my extensive track record with such winners (as I call them) “The Rapist”, “The Con-Artist”, “The Secret Agent”, “The Preacher” and “The Druggy”. Yep, this is a small list of such winners I’ve ended up with and they were as lovely as they sounded. The last true relationship I was in was with the man I was unofficially engaged to (no ring, hence unofficial in Utah standards). He ended our relationship by telling me he just got home from his Honeymoon. Yep, he was engaged to me and not just one, but two other women. So when people tell me “You’re just picky, you need to lower your dating standards”, I just look at them and wonder; “How much lower can I get”? I guess I can date the homeless or check under the rugs.

I know this may come to some as a shocker, but I do go out on dates now and then and each time I come home and either cry or just stare up at the ceiling in shock and awe about these men. Most of these men have extreme baggage, but hey, I’m not one to judge too much, I’m willing to give anyone a chance. I’ve come to the conclusion that these men only want sex or a woman around so they don’t have to pay for day care, nothing of a true romantic relationship. I’ve told many people out there most men don’t want a woman like me. I’m kind of like the “Clearance Model”. Either I’m too old, too fat (this is #1 I’m positive), too childish or the guy doesn’t want to have any more children. That’s my biggest deal breaker. I’m not going through all these tests and surgeries for nothing, but with most men my age, they’re done having children or they’re old enough to know that they never want kids. Guess I’ll get back into dating when I’m 50.

Rejected because I’ve passed my prime dating period.

Rejection #5 - School and Continuing Education

Rejected by Government Grants and Loan Companies

I never heard of anyone getting rejected for a student loan, that was until 3 weeks ago that I got a letter saying I didn’t qualify for a loan. Then two days later, yet another rejection notice came my way. These rejections came after I gave up on applying for government grants. One grant I applied for was actually through the school. The lady there told me I have a 96% chance of getting this grant. She’s never seen anyone turned away from this grant that was over 30. Well, I fit into that 4% category. I was denied because I am single with no children and have too much disposable income, which comes off as ironic to me since according to my taxes records from last year, I’m on the poverty line. I understand not getting grants because of my “lifestyle”, but why am I being denied loans? I have a great credit score and good history on paying my bills. I even have my car as collateral. My friend told me that it’s because the economy is down and private companies and being finicky with loans. That once it picks back up, my chances are a lot greater. I guess that’s good news, but I don’t see the economy picking up anytime soon. Do you?

What really hurt my self esteem was at the beginning of the year when I applied for a Helicopter school, so that I can become a Life Flight pilot. This is what I would love to do for a career, but again…rejected. Why? Because of my weight. Again this damn weight is ruining my chance for something great. Helicopter pilots need a weight limit and I’m way over that limit. So until I can get into that range, this dream job is put on hold.

Rejected because of my lifestyle.

Rejection #6 - Jobs and Career Advancements

Rejected by Employers and Companies

Because I honestly can’t stand my job anymore, I’ve been job hunting. If there is anything I hate the most in life it’s the frustrations with job hunting. I rather be someplace I hate than job hunting, but that place of work is so exasperating right now, I rather job hunt. I’ve probably applied for about 100+ jobs in the past 2 months and haven’t even heard from a ¼ of them. What ones I do hear from, they just send a generic letter saying I didn’t get the job. One place did respond back to me saying they were looking for someone fresh out of the school that has the potential of staying with the company for a long period of time. Sounds like an age discrimination thing, but I don’t have the energy or care to fight it. Most of rejections are because I don’t have the advanced degree or schooling for it, even though I have the experience most want that piece of paper aka diploma saying I can handle it.

Rejected because of Schooling

I really do try to stay optimistic about life, but lately it’s easier said than done. A person can only take so much negativity in their life before the little black clouds becomes a thunderstorm. It hit me the other day (literally) when I got an email from one of my “emotional vampires” and that was what throw me over the edge as I took a chair and threw it across the room. My frustration at the end of the days usually ends with me hitting myself, screaming into a pillow or crying myself to sleep. I hate this person I’ve become. I’m violent, hateful, filled with rage and jealousy of others. I don’t blame people for not wanting to be around me. I know I wouldn’t want to. I truly feel sorry for my co-workers and family who have to be around me. I’m sure they try to avoid me at every chance, that is until I can shake this gloomy feeling. I just want something to go right with life, just a little glimmer of hope that there is something good coming my way. I feel like I’m stuck in a corner with life and walls are starting to cave in. Damn this depression!

I honestly think I’m bi-polar or suffer from manic depression because I do have highs during the day, but they don’t compare to lows I experience. One reason why I have been avoiding people is because I honestly can take their good news. When someone tells me that they’re getting married, having a baby, got a job promotion or even got a fun little item I truly am happy for them at first, but within a few minutes envy and jealousy streams through my system and I find myself hating that it couldn’t be me. "Why can’t I have this? Why can I never share good news"? I feel like I’m trying so hard to make a better life for me, but I’m going nowhere. Maybe this is where I am supposed to be for now. If that’s the case, I think I’m going to need more chocolate.

Real World Iacon...That's My Voice!

As most people know, I'm about a geeky as they come. Needless to say, I'm proud of it too! As part of my geekiness, I'm a pretty involved member of the Transformers community (go on ahead a laugh, but again I love it). Well about three months ago a fairly well know voice actor asked me to help with this year's BotCon video for amatuers. Jon is such a talented man, I'm surprised he asked me to help him. I was very happy he asked me, but very surprised too. I wasn't able to go to this year's BotCon celebration, but in the end, we won the competition and Jon was able to take in the big moment there in front of thousands.

The video is about Well known Transformers living in a "Real World" situation. Even if you're not a fan of Transformers, it's a great laugh!

YouTube Linkage
Jon Bailey: The Man of a 1000 Voices.

Twitter Sucker

Yes, I've finally joined the rest of the sheep and signed up for a Twitter account. Not sure how to use it or why yet, but it's where some good gossip comes about. Me being so social, I have to be part of the "in crowd". So follow me and my 160 character messages.

www.twitter.com/beatlesdiva

England Bound...Again

So as of last night it is official...I'm headed off to England again! Last year I hardly had any time there. I spent just about as much time travelling to get there as the time I spent there. I loved my short vacation but this August it's going to be better. I'm actually going to spend some time with friends in their hometown in Newcastle where (if I can do some sweet convincing) I'll get to go see where the castle that they use for Hogwarts in the Harry Potter film. I'm so excited to meet up with my buddies again. A year is a long time to see people you've grown so close with! But I'm also very excited that I actually get to see more of the British ways. I just hope they can handle a home-spun American gal like myself.

Who Say’s I Can’t Claim the Title of “Mom”?!

Mothers Day’s just passed and I hope all mommies everywhere got to celebrate their special day. Looking back just on the past week alone, I realize I can claim the title of Mom. I may have not given birth or official adopted some individuals, but I treat and help raise these adults as would any mom would.

There as a few people in my life, who are fairly close to my age that I claim as my kids (or should). I pick them up to and from work and activities, I go to support their performances and games, check on where they will be for the rest of the day, handed out allowances, I’ve even packed a few lunches, then if I have time I go and visited a friend in the hospital. I’ve actually been to see them more than their real family, all of this in a week’s time.

Then of course there are my puppies, who I do claim as my children, and I beg to differ to anyone that they are not kids. I have to disipline them, bath them, entertain them, make sure they get to bed the same time every night, I take them to the doctors and make sure they have a happy life. Plus, I'm sure I spend more money and time with them than some other mothers do with their own kids.

As much as I love helping others, this week I felt the stress of motherhood like no other, as my muscles are so tense that I can barely move my head back and forth. To all my friends who claim the title of “Motherhood” I salute you!

It's been a long time since I've written, but I could let the day pass without telling all the mommies and adopted mothers a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! It's your day and I hope y'all get spoiled.